Hamburger Helpless: The Shortcut That Did Not Work

"It's the soup kind!" My husband is jokingly referring to his younger sister's expression for overcooked pasta. Any foodie would cringe at the way she likes her mac 'n cheese. My husband likes it that way, too. You know it's ready when the noodles have lost their shape and texture. It's no longer macaroni and cheese, it's yellow slop. In order to make it this way, you must do the following:

1. Read the directions on the back of the box.
2. Disregard
3. Nevermind, just skip step number 1.

Earlier today I had been looking for a way to make Hamburger Helper even easier. I thought to myself, "let's just throw all the ingredients in the slow cooker and see what happens."

As I spoon through the gray mush in my bowl, I ponder the cause of such a mental relapse. It's Hamburger Helper. It doesn't need any more help. Too much Purel? My son's screams have finally got to me? The ever-popular excuse known as "baby brain?"

My husband points out the river of grease floating in the middle of his slop.

"I used the regular hamburger," I say, "obviously I didn't drain it because I used the slow cooker, and it's like 30% fat."

Note to self: Hamburger Helper and my Crockpot do not get along. Unless you like "the soup kind," of course.