How To Get a Free Bouquet

Step 1: Shed those PJ's and pull on some neighborhood worthy pants. Put some warm clothes on that baby. Grab the stroller, a pair of sharp wire cutters, a vase filled with water, and a pair of garden gloves.

Step 2: Grab your keys and head outside. Breathe in the crisp morning air. Wonder what the crew is doing to the house across the street. Put the pacifier back in your baby's mouth and realize the sun is in his eyes. Put the shade down on the stroller.

Step 3: Keep walking until you reach the outer corners of your subdivision where neither mower nor backhoe have crawled. Scan the field for your favorite colors.

Step 4: Cut a variety of wild flowers, interesting twigs and grasses with your wire cutters. Wear your garden gloves to protect your hands from prickles. Fill up your vase. Worry about arrangement later.

Step 5: Head back to the house. Realize the crew is resealing the driveway to make the unsold house look newer. Wonder if the housing market is ever going to turn around in your area. Wonder if you're unknowingly bringing pests into your home.

Step 6: Unload the baby, the vase, your unsightly "mom" sweatshirt and the garden gloves. Arrange the wildflowers while your baby stares. Top off the vase with water, hoping they will not wilt by tomorrow. Take a few photos since you know they will be wilted by tomorrow. Find a sneaky little lady bug in your bouquet. Decide he's harmless and spare his life.

Step 7: Thank the Lord for gorgeous flowers to brighten your home and your day...